I’ve just won Two Million Pounds Sterling from the…

I’ve just won Two Million Pounds Sterling from the “Prince Williams Foundation”. (sic)

“@NetflixUK: Sunday plans. http://t.co/RfkqD8UomK”…

@NetflixUK: Sunday plans. http://t.co/RfkqD8UomK” when did you pose for that @kerri_lu ?

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Oh, it’s furniture polish. Not what I thought when…

Oh, it’s furniture polish. Not what I thought when I first saw the name

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Presumably this guy is a social media and marketin…

Presumably this guy is a social media and marketing expert http://t.co/0kaJEWbTEc

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Try as I might, I can’t convince @killerfairies th…

Try as I might, I can’t convince @killerfairies that jokes get funnier the more you tell them. My jokes do, anyway.

Impressive. Despite being unable to drive and havi…

Impressive. Despite being unable to drive and having never visited the USA, I’m being charged for driving on a US toll road. Or scammed.